Friday, February 20, 2009

typingwhatevercomestomind

I really have nothing on my mind right, but I must not stop, lentils kidney beans, roosters may lay eggs, even camels get demented, If you're not me then you are the the second most beautiful person on earth, the world's mass will never change, except when you get moon rocks and asteroids. Q: if you could name a number what would it be A: justin duhhh... I want a klondike bar. who is evil knievel?.spiderman and sarah palin nailed the burger king on a cross several days ago, I wish for a revival of the swing era... if at first you dont succced, sell your soul to the colonel, with his seven secret herbs and spices... I know nicaragua is a made up country to hide genetic mutation experiment conducted by brangelina, oprah uses ultra electro black magnetic waves to make you tune in to her show, the universe is continually expanding and so is EJ, so ej is the universe. howard hughes was my uncle, could you believe that? bono is the president of argentina. amy winehouse!!! the moon is located in pittsburgh,Q: if a tree falls down and no one was around there to hear it would it make a sound A: yes, it would be singing techno versions of emo song ("*beep beep*how could*tootoottiit* this happen to me*tititotototo*") wheres waldo? on the moon in pittsburgh duhh... Q: what was man thinking when he discovered that you could get milk out of cows A: no its not what you think... It gave him an erection. sleep! scream nematodes!. hump cancer castrate dick cheney

Monday, February 9, 2009

Profound Underachiever


I've never really excelled at anything in life so...
at about the time Howard Hughes started to act weird(no just kidding) I then began my elusive search for anything that I can be considered good at, at first I was made to believe by my mummi that I'm special and "brayt", and obviously I believed that, well there came the time that I realized that no child loving parent would blatantly say you're no good, and I was starting to doubt my "kabrayt" when I entered the first grade, because I can only be the queen of sheba rather than being Solomon. then I thought to myself hey lets try sports. epic fail! besides the fact that I've no natural talent for any sport I also realized that my pace and ability to improve is slower than koalas on mating season, just as I was about to end my search, I had a eureka moment, there actually is something Im very very adept at, so adept that I can do it without even trying, and I found it while watching Americal Idol, and no its not singing but Failing!. I looked these definitions up.
  1. To prove deficient or lacking; perform ineffectively or inadequately: failed to fulfill their promises; failed in their attempt to reach the summit.
  2. To be unsuccessful: an experiment that failed.
  3. To receive an academic grade below the acceptable minimum.
you know why Im proud to fail?, because some people dread it!, and I can do it without even trying. so fuck off because I'm an underachiver and proud of it.


Friday, February 6, 2009

When I met you...


Oh my god, jesus christ I cant believe Im actually reviewing an upcoming movie abomination... well i guess you should'hav seen this coming because love day is coming faster than American couples filing for a divorce. and before I begin I must warn you that I'm making this entry out of sheer boredom and should not expect anything less but bullshit, but hey its the kind of bullshit that's actually interesting. I guess the title might have mislead to thinking that "hey look a review on when I met u"[HAHA!] but its not its my personal opinion on movies that are specifically made for the valentines season.(don't ask me why I put the picture up and the title :D) every year when valentines day is approaching Filipino movie makers churn out these "romantic" flicks that always seem to follow a definite pattern and it goes this way.
  1. Guy/Girl cant find special person who is sensitive,metrosexual, has white teeth, one who wears expensive hair gel, and owns or inherits a company.(well maybe not the company part but you get me)
  2. Guy/Girl starts looking for partner, after a dozen of possible candidates the girl/guy still cant find the right one, so he/she consults loud obnoxious friend.
  3. As Guy/Girl and obnoxious friend are about to meet, Girl trips or, Guy "spills something,smacks girl accidentally ,etc."
  4. (cheesy slow motion & cue theme song of movie)
  5. guy and girl bicker, then become close...
  6. guy and girl plan on having a baby, but family of girl opposes because guy might spend family fortune on glutathione.
  7. then guy or girl gets emotional because they "are not meant for each other",separates...
  8. then both realize that its almost 2hrs to the movie and still nothing is resolved, they then meet because of some conference or anything that can make them cross paths.
  9. they realize movie gets really boring if they drag it even more,so they instantly love each other again, and family magically approves of them...
  10. happy ending (cue theme song once again)
well I may have some of the details off, you might want to throw in an antagonist to help plot build-up or one of the main character dies and so on. but you gotta admit it always has some of the elements I mentioned above.
Look I'm not against to these kinds of flicks but the way people get milked by the film industry bothers me, they promote the movie by making stories in the news entertainment segment about "celebrities" are secretly in a tryst, THEEEN, people are like "OOOOOOOH whats next?" right after they get the mass' attention the media then promotes their fucking movie thats coming up, some people are then stupid enough to watch the flick. then they get filmed shouting like a eunuch on speed about how good the movie was even if it was terrible, as long as theirs a camera everythings all good, AND in that way more people will be swayed to watch... amazing...



[gotta doze off ]

*narcolepticNinja*